the brain blast

maxilofailo

maxilofailo

sheeboons must die
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what if the only way to reverse my shit brain
is literally punish it for making me feel good
and the way I punish it is
self-harm (just kidding mods)

by doing things I hate
thats it I have to punish my brain making me weak by doing things I hate
studying, gym, reading
basically do boring shit on purpose
and everytime I feel myself enjoying it

I cut myself (again joke)

I make it harder so I go back to hating it again

resist all forms of entertainment or excitement (THAT IS ARTIFICAL AKA VIA THE INTERNET)
also resist anything enjoyable
goyslop, porn, mindless scrolling, tiktok spikes, youtube droning, netflix cuckmaxxing
nightmare mode version of this would include cutting out all forms of music

Long story short in order for me to stop hating myself and my life, I have to hate myself and my life
Fucking brutal JFL there is no escape from suffering in this life
you either suffer cause you live life a piece of shit (fat, lazy, depressed)
ir you suffer cause you do shit you hate even if it benefits you

finally, this includes the one thing I've been missing all along, socializing
I have to make it a mission to talk to at least ONE NEW PERSON EVERYDAY (its over)
Im going to humiliate myself everyday due to being socialy awkward asf but its the only way to learn

the only way to learn to play basketball is by playing basketball. All the film and tape and video guides in the world cant replace reps and practice

brutal, I cant even rot on the forum with this
and ill be honest I think this is a forever thing or at least until I can control myself, which could take months (6 if Im being generous, over for my brain)
 
You cant control ur brain chemistry

Even with meds

You cant control it

Its all give and take
 
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